I have written loads of stuff, about politics, romance, about my passions basically. Most of the it has been rubbish is what i know or should i say mostly inconclusive? Many of them, just selfish attempts at making people appreciate. Now, this appreciation is something of a misleading preposition. People often clap and nod and say nice things often out of compulsion rather than a natural urge to do so, or may be because they are expected to do so or even worse they are instigated into it by pathetic people like me :) As always.. i have dithered from the topic.
The story or rather the epilogue is about yesterday night. i had to visit a good friend who was not at a very comfortable distance from my place.
But yes, i had set out wearing my very very old tattered garb of appeasement and had fulfilled(well.. almost!) my mission-appease for the
day- one which saw frenzied and tiresome activity at office. (i hate the word appease:( Damn!! i have decided to be honest after all!) So i exchanged pleasantries with my "good friend" and started my journey back to my place.(just discovered..i hate "pleasantries" too..
i feel like reaching for the dictionary and counting the number of words i hate in it.. naah.. Too enormous a task.. Hey! Do i hate enormous? Oh forget it!! how does it matter?!)
[Time: 00:00 hours]
The abundance of time- courtesy the distance- and loneliness often leads us to some remote places within our own conscience. i started wandering.. The screaming and groaning of engines didn't wake me up, instead, they pushed me deeper into the unconscious. Many familiar faces swept past my eyes, a few of them yelled and abused somebody who shared his name with me. A number of them even hit me- slapped, punched, kicked- but i never cried nor did i resist. Surprisingly i didn`t react, i would have normally but i didn`t. i felt as if i deserved all of it. i wished they had shaken off a some of the filth that i had gathered during the quarter century of my existence. i saw some happy moments too, moments of prosperity, gaity and festivities- i was the host and the there were scores of people partying and there was laughter- loads of it. But when they left they slapped me again- each one of them and dared me not to be a part of the parties they threw. i was perplexed each time they said it with alarming uniformity. All of a sudden the scene changed.
i found myself swimming, with all kinds of nasty creatures, slimy-wimy things and the water, OMG!! it wasn`t water, it was something else. i would have preferred to be in the potty-tank instead. As if all this was less appeasing (gosh!!), i saw a disturbance at a distance, was it a.. a.. a whirlpool!! i was getting dragged into it and it was as if all the pukey things and me warranted the same fate. i went deeper and deeper, i was losing it.. i gasped for breath! I was struggling hard to come out.. But a sentence signifying perseverance has a full stop too. i had lost it, i had no strength, i had let-go and was sucked in completely, but then..
somebody pulled me out. Maybe there was more than somebody. i woke up ..
[2.00AM]
My phone was ringing. i realized i was still driving, but this time on a dirt road. There were no vehicles around this time, there were no lights as well. i forgot to switch on the headlight. i almost lost balance as i turned it on. i was shit-scared- as they call it, there were innumerable questions pounding the tiny little processor in my brain. Where was i? What was the place? Where was i going? Was it a dream? What did the preceding thoughts mean? All such queries were ignored and only one of them was getting processed:
how do i reach home?
i stopped by the roadside and checked my mobile- No network! i decided to take a U-turn, i had obviously taken a wrong road, i should have been in the city! The way back wasn't as easy as i had guessed it to be. i had taken a kutccha road off the highway-which i figured out later.
[4.30AM]
i had somehow come back to the Satara highway after two and half hours of wandering around nowhere. i could feel myself collapsing.. Every nerve within my body shook.. No better words at the moment as i relive the experience. There were no signs as to which way would lead to Pune. The petrol-meter too had hit an all-time-low as it appeared. i kissed the petrol tank- sometimes we do horrendously silly things, sometimes there are things which are more precious than blood, sometimes you don't fail to pray and plead every second.. Wait!! Wasn't I going hyper.. I wasn't dying after all!! It was the just the aftermath of the preceding thoughts. i decided i`ll take a right turn- sometimes the most practical people are superstitious.. it was the flip of a coin which had decided that left wasn't the right way to go:)
[5.30AM]
i parked my bike below my building and sat down, dropped down rather..
with a thud!
[5.35AM]
i climed up the three floors to reach my flat, opened the door and went inside, i was still shaking. I threw my cell towards the bed. The missed call which woke me up dawned on me then. I flipped open the cell and pressed the green button. The call history was blank except a solo missed call at 1.58 AM, and it read- 'Number Withheld'
