A scary thought

I had a stupid thought in mind after watching 3 idiots. Yet again, Aamir Khan kept his promise of giving us something high on value and on HQ (Happiness Quotient)

It had everybody relate to their college life. Touching everybody in a way only he can. Most of the contemporary Hindi movie-going people would concur, he is the single most important contributor to how we perceive cinema today.

Returning to the thought, what worries me no ends is that in a few years we will not have the college going Aamir anymore. We will not have him Racing on his bike Or Win a cricket match for us Or embarrass us no ends by making us cry as in TZP.

Why can't the best people be exempt of ageing?

Why can't him or even Amitabh Bacchan stay as young as they are? So that we are never starved of the TZPs or the PAAs?

Excuse my insanity :) The thought is fearful.

Thoughts in my mind

Being the first post, what to write was the question. What can I write. Am I that good at writing to have post on this blog. So many thoughts in my head but was unable to decide which one to pick. Well... figuring out all this took some time, but as we say "der aaye durust aaye", I am here, writng my first post.

I started with a thought in my mind to write, but see I have changed my mind. Felt that this may not be an ideal one to start with. Ok switching to another one and hope I don't changed my mind again. This one has been disturbing me or I should say having a nice time in my head (my pj style :) ). The thought of "marriage". Two years back I was thinking "Why to get married". Now when I have an answer to that another question, one more question pops up. Well.. I am not scared of getting married, but what worries me is whom to marry.

Six months back my mom announced, "Betaa the time is coming for your marriage. Within a year or so you have to tie the knot, the divine knot". I said, "Ok, I will think about it". Six months passed, now it seems like the D-day is not that far. In coming days, there would be more series of proposals at my discretion (already score is 3, 2 rejected, I forwared for further action). Of course there are lots of constraints which would play its role in this mission and it would take considreable amount of time before the marriage is fixed ( unless I am that unlucky ). Also I know the final call would be mine, but then the question come whom to choose and what should be the parameters(am I buying a product??).

Few of my friends say, "you just get to know when the right person comes in front of you". Last time even I gave the same reason to my parents while rejecting one proposal that I didn't feel like she could be my wife. Is that feeling just enough. Shouldn't I get chance to know the person I am going to spend my whole life with. What if I say yes and the marriage doesn't work out. Well.. this thought scares the hell out of me.

I hope when times comes I will be able to figure out what to do. I guess the person I choose or rather me and my parent choose would be the best companion I could get.

So thats all for now...
Phir milenge isi jagah agle post ke saath.. Good Night :)

Sanal...

ज़िन्दगी: A story unfinished..

Today.. I was fighting again. For a change, the tussle was within me. It was fierce and either side caused the same pair of eyes to swell on getting hurt. I was angry and there was another part of me which wanted to be sad. But I wasn't!!
It was 2 years ago.. I had to fly to Bangalore. I had planned to park my bike at the airport as I was returning the next day. There was this young boy in his teens reading at the ticket counter. There was something different about this boy- which made me search for more.
I had surprisingly come early to the airport so had the luxury of sparing a few minutes.(a first in my life!! I have a strange relationship with transport- its always a last minute thing. Someday I'll tell you the NDA exam story of the train that was not missed!)
A conversation began which lasted till the last of the security-check announcements. Sooraj came across as an intelligent person and sure promised to touch the sky. That too in fluent English! He was from a very poor family and working nights at the parking counter helped him pay for his studies. Sooraj had just entered undergraduate college.
After that 1st meeting, we developed a bond. An unnnatuaral one. I almost am certain he will make it big. Shared my books with him- gave him a few management exam books I had not cared to open. There were a few things about him which hit me. He had my number but he never called even once- not till the last. He knew I'll help but he didn't. Everytime I came back from a trip my bike stood there sparkling clean- not once did he claim he did it! Some more thot- he never asked too many questions. Would mean he never knew my arrival time and must have kept cleaning my bike all the while. Shit!! I am angry again! Will write more later..
A few days back I carried all the remaining books I had to hand over them to Sooraj. This time I was late & I was lucky I scraped thru. I had to fly to hyderabad on an official trip for 2 days and my bag was full. I dragged the suitcase to the parking counter and asked for Sooraj. The person just said he's kicked him out. I had no clue what to do. I was getting late- the person's demeanor said I would not get anything out of a convo here. So I ran for my flight. I was blank. Sooraj was gone and I was angry. A bit more than angry and I was lost.
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Hope he calls one of these days.. Not to ask for something. Maybe to share something good.

Poetry: क्या सोचा होगा तुमने..

I had to recently change home, and though moving home does play a little on human nerves, I did find some positives!! Most of it was revisiting what all I have- nostalgia on unearthing long forgotten things, my class-7 sign book with my then-crush's signature (that was DPS, Dhanbad :D ) My signed farewell shirt, my college & 12th scrapbooks.
Also found many leaflets with little write ups which also reminded me of a different me. Its been long since i have written something. Here is something written just after 12th..

क्या सोचा होगा उदर में तुमने
के दुनिया कैसी है
अनजान.. भंवर से
कल्पना करते होंगे
के बस माँ जैसी है ।
धुप से बचाती, अपने आँचल के ओट से
गोद में सुलाती,
गुनगुनाती हुई, ममता के स्वरों से,
मासूम थे तुम!

क्या समझा होगा तुमने ,
कभी चलना भी होगा, इन्ही निष्ठुर राहों पर तुम्हे
के जिन्हें देखकर ही ठिठुर जाते थे तुम
किसी की ऊँगली पकड़, किसी के सहारे
लडखडाते .. फ़िर संभलते हुए
चलना भी सिखा तुमने ।
इक और मंजिल उस दिन तुम्हारे क़दमों के नीचे थी,
इक और दहलीज़ उस दिन तुम्हारे पीछे थी।

पर ज़माने ने कब बख्शा था तुम्हे,
तुमने क्या जाना था,
के वो सहारा भी छूट जाएगा
फ़िर तुम्हे राह दिखाने, कोई भी न आएगा।

कुच्छ देर थे तुम भी अच्चम्भित,
अँधेरा था हर ओर, और तुम..
तुम थे बिल्कुल तनहा .. अकेले
जब सवेरा हुआ,
तब भी तुम चल रहे थे,
रात भर में बहुत फासला तये कर लिया था तुमने,
पीछे मुड़कर देखा तो कोई भी न था, और सामने..
सामने था तुम्हारा हासिल।।

हाँ ! निराली है येः दुनिया
हर मोड़ पर नए लक्ष्य तये करती है
और हम भागते हैं उसकी ओर
शायद उसलक्ष्य को पाने के लिए
जिसे किसी ने न देखा
जो कल्पना से परे हैं।

कोशिश ही ज़िन्दगी है
कब माना था तुमने
पर आज जानते हो,
मुकाम तो बस बहाने हैं, ज़िन्दगी के झूठे अफ़साने हैं।
तुम्हे तूफ़ान से क्या, तुम्हे मुश्किलों से क्या
तुम्हे तो बस चलना है
अपनी मंजिल की ओर
क्यूंकि ..
चलना ही ज़िन्दगी है॥

Reading poetry from my diaries sometimes brings a wry smile at being so naive, and at times contentment. The one written below was just after the Kargil War when the media was ecstatic at the victory, but do we call it a victory or a successful recovery after a lapse?

*************

Wo jung chidi baaton se bas

kya baat badhi, jo dhul udi

kya jeet hui jo jashn mane

kuch log marein kya fark pada?

Jo shaheed hua wo Sainik tha!

kya bhul gaye...

Tufaani raton ko wo naavik tha

bas adna sa ik shramik tha

wo duub gaya kya fark pada?

Hum sab to hain is paar kadhe

kuch log beech majhdaar marein

Use yaad kiya kuch pushp chadhe

Kuch moti gire kya fark pada?

Jo duub gaya wo sainik tha!

Yeh aahuti hi antim hai

Soch yahi praan diye,

Wo gutthi ansuljhi hi rahi,

kya isiliye.. ?

Angaaron par nange paanv chalege,

soch bagair us vaidhav ka

Jismein aaj ye dekh jale

Kuch chaain ke neend sote hain

Wo raato ko uthkar rote hain,

Hum unki peeda kya jaane

Jo saathi ko paakar khotein hain

Wah to bas ik naam tha,

Dhul gaya jo waqt se,

Syahi kathin tha raqt se

Wo mit gaya kya fark padaa?

Hum to nirbhaye ho jhoom rahe,

Vijaye ke bhram kalash ko choom rahe

Wey hain desh ke kanak khare,

Us jaise mein adhar mein aur khade

Aao unhe ab naman karein,

Jung nahi hum aman karein

***********

Confessions

What do I write in my diary after say- 20 years?

The thought has left me unnerved and restless since it crossed my mind few days ago. It is not that I have had an uneventful life, quite the ulta case. There have been a lot of not-so-important short stories which have marked my journey till now. The culprit here is my memory. .
If there was ever a race for fastest memory loss, I'll win it hands down! [Or say I`ll get a lil bit of competition from a dear lil friend- but i know i`ll lose :( ]

Then i had this grand idea of keeping track! [I know you will be appreciating my mental prowess :) ] So here it is.. i start with my top confessions:


1. I am a liar: Life in itself is a little too boring without a sprinkling of masala. This is only for the stories though! ;)

2. I am afraid of the dark and also the unknown: This put in a more stylish way would sound something like- "I like to see things the way they are" :) :)

3. Attention Seeker: Like a true blue Leo, I am one. And it flatters me so much that I am actually thankful for my horrible looks. Otherwise.. there would sure have been innumerable neuro failures cuz of limitless excitement :)
4. A hopeless romantic: Now this is absolutely surprising even to my own self! Be it a traffic signal, during a movie, a moment of respite or any other extra moment to breathe.. the dreamer wakes up within!!
5. I believe I am SuperNatural : I tend to flatter myself by believing I can achieve the impossible. Tends to motivate but is foolish most of da times :D
6. I am scared of the others: I am horribly scared of people I don't know, though m pretty good at faking it! (again..)

There were many more when i started writing this.. but I don't remember.. Lets hope I do :)

..contd | If i Ever Fight An Election

(This is continued from the last post..)

Liberty:
What even the big shots and the so called Gyani’s forget is that Liberty is a 3- dimensional term. Liberty is not somebody’s selfish idea which can stop at the perimeters of individuality. Liberty needs to consider self [foremost! as a duty and a right], the 2nd person and even the 3rd person. Cutting the long story short, freedom is more about our sphere of influence than our own self.

If that was too top-heavy, lets do something which all of us love to do - laugh it off. Below are a few instances of what is our interpretation of Liberty:

# Tell people to follow our own (most of the times stupid) morals
# Tell people they are responsible for our miseries
# Tell people the Gods they worship are farcial, when all of us are stuck in the same hole! [no pun intended :)]
Enuf of telling.. Now some real action..
# Do a mistake and tell people it was theirs. [Example galore.. like breaking a traffic signal and staring at the other person as if he just winked at your wife :)]
# Do everything against the rulebook all day and come back comment at the pathetic state of affairs over evening tea!
# Do precious little if we see injustice.
[I did nothing against gross injustice once, I confess!]
# Do nothing spontaneously and think about consequences always.

Missed out many, readers may add them!
Humming Raghu Dixit’s song.. and signing off!!
‘heyyyyy.. Chhoti si ye zindagi, usse chhota ik sapna..’

आप सबसे अनुरोध है की कृपया- जीयें और जीनें दें

[ जनहित में जारी :) ]

राजनीती:: If I ever fight an election!

If I ever fight an election... what would be the election manifesto? Those were the thoughts when I found myself almost entirely unaware and even skeptical of the existence of something called a constitution! All high school education was waste.. I know! :)
To tell you the truth after nursery, I couldn’t really concentrate of what was being taught or it never really caught my imagination nor could the teachers catch (realize) my self-imposed academic emancipation. But as all misdeeds must be accounted for, and so I did have to study the constitutional summary again now while writing this.
Here’s a little excerpt from Wikipedia:
“It declares the Union of India to be a sovereign, democratic republic, assuring its citizens of justice, equality, and liberty; the words "socialist", "secular" and "integrity" were added to the definition in 1976 by constitutional amendment. India celebrates the adoption of the constitution on January 26 each year as Republic Day. It is the longest written constitution of any sovereign nation in the world, containing 395 articles, 12 schedules and 94 amendments, for a total of 117,369 words in the English language version.”
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Did you hear that?!!
We have ‘justice’ and ‘equality’ as our guiding principles since more than 60 years! ‘Socialist’ & ‘Integrity’ are too high to touch and ‘Secular’ has a debatable definition.
Generally on the personal front, Secularism in India seems to be more of an idea of appeasement. Secular or not, what the political parties in India generally do, is either pro-Hindu or pro-Muslim. Secular to me is that the state policies should not have any religious alignments whatsoever; any individual should not be discriminated against based on his religious affiliations.
Justice and Equality need not be explained again as the dictionaries more or less concur at the same meanings for them.
[For starters, we have certainly and almost successfully defied equality by following a policy of reservation without a defined end]
The intention is not to bore the readers and induce suicidal tendencies in them. It is in fact, to drive home the point that we have made ample rules and taken enough resolutions. [395 articles alone... Phew!]
There’s a single line agenda which should be suffice:
"I’ll enforce all the guiding principles."

That’s a start. [To be continued…]

एक पहल: The Journey starts..

Prologue:

The absence or the negativity of 'enlightment' or knowledge in simpler terms, leads to many a social problem. Especially in a complex, multi-lingual, multi-ethnic society as India, its economic disparities notwithstanding. The motivation of the author and his entourage is to take the torch further to the farthest corners of the nation, and maybe beyond to root out darkness, or if the suggestion can be excused, the social handicaps.

Defining Education as such would be an enormous task in itself. Lets just say- it is empowering an individual to decide between the 'good' and the 'bad', for himself and for the society and keeping himself aware of his surroundings in order to 'react' accordingly. Education being a continuous process can never be something which can be imparted completely; the effort can only strive towards providing direction. All the more important is that, this direction and enlightment should be devoid of any other motives or alignments.

Objective:

Educating and supporting children and also adults, especially targeting areas where the lack of which can induce bigger challenges to our social integrity.

ख़याल:: येः दिल :)

Bahut samjhaaya is dil ko
Ke yun aitbaar na kar,
Umeedon ki jhoothi tasveeron mein
Khwaahishon ke rangon ko bekaar na kar |

Par ye mann kaahaan maanta hai
Maasoom.. Chehron ke sach ko kaahaan pehchanta hai,
Har ek makhaute ko seene se laga leta hai
Jaanta hai jal jaayega,
Fir jaane kyun
Unki anjaan aahaton ko apna bana leta hai ||
-Kshitij

Ab Chalta Hun Bas..

This poem was written in the wee hours of my last day in college,(2005, Hassan, Karnataka) post farewell. A farewell in many ways :)
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Ab chalta hun bas
Ke shayad samaye pura ho raha hai,
Roshni Dhoomil si ho gayi hai
Sashi to bas yunhi behla raha hai
Mujeh to sooraj ke saath chalna hai,
Dekho kitne weg se chala ja raha hai
Ab chalta hun bas..

Beh jaane do ke ab
Leher adhura ho raha hai,
Raahein badal rahi hai
Yeh safar poora ho raha hai
Ab chalta hun bas..

Aawaaj ladkhadaa rahi hai
Savera aankhon mein aa raha hai
sapno ka saagar thithurkar,
door chala ja raha hai
Muskuraate chehron se kyun,
Siskion ki aahat si aa rahi hai
Thakaan hai shayad,
Palkon ko bhigoti chali ja rahi hai
Itni tej roshni hai
Yun lagta hai ke andheraa ho raha hai
Fir se giraftaar naa ho jaaun
Har oor kiRnon ka ghera ho raha hai
Ab chalta hun bas
Ke shaayad samaye pooraa ho raha hai..